Ilana Lydia — About Me 2.0

The story behind the story

Photo credit: Laura Durant, portrait of the author

It’s all a fiction. Or rather, it’s all a story. What we believe about each other, what we say about ourselves, is, in many ways, immaterial. We could tell a completely different story and it would be just as true.

Consider these short stories about myself:

• I became a good director by being a bad actor. Because I had to scrape and claw as an actor to get anywhere, I’m particularly skilled at helping new actors find their footing.
• I am a poor director. I spend so much time with the administration of my theater, the art really suffers. I’ve also learned to say ‘yes’ to a lot of mediocrity. This has been necessary to win the battle, but brilliance has been sacrificed.
• I am a copy-cat director. I have been influenced by a small number of other artists, and basically just rework their points and stories into my own pieces. My shows are derivative.

Which is true? I suppose it would depend on who you’re talking to.

Here is a different area to consider:

• I am Seriously Mentally Ill. I am on Disability for depression, anxiety, and psychosis, all of which is brought out by my insomnia. There are days I am low functioning.